Friday, September 4, 2009


I love Fridays...everyone is always in a great mood...and no matter what, it's easier to stay focused because tomorrow starts 2 days of doing what I want to do.

I went to see my Doctor in the walk-in clinic last night and she hasn't seen me since I started on this journey. She asked me how I was losing the weight, and what was keeping me motivated. How much had I lost, and a number of other questions. We went over my food plan and my exercise plan and she was happy with both of them...saying they both didn't need any changes. We discussed my goals and when I though I was going to reach them. It was my first "fun" visit at the Doctors, I usually only go when I'm sick.

Losing weight for me, has become a focus, but not an all life encompassing experience. I do have some "treats" every once in a while, it's just in a better proportion than it used to be. A small piece of cake, not most of the cake.

I measure things in a different scale now.

How long will it take me to burn this off?

Is it worth it?

If I was dying tomorrow, would I still want to eat this thing that bad?

Every time I think I'm going to cave, I look at Kelly's picture and think WWKD?

I am loving this journey! This is an "all about me" trip, and for once, I think about me first.

Yes, it upsets some people, but tough nookie's baby. I can't live your life for you, and you don't live mine.

I know I still have food issues. I still want to celebrate with food. When I'm sad or down, I still want to cry with food. When I'm hurt, I still want to be comforted by food.

I've been trying to think of an answer to the questions of why and how?

Why now...

How do you keep motivated?

I don't know why now. I knew that I had a benchmark of 250...and to me if I reached that, I was fat. At 245, I though I had better do something. Finding Kelly was a godsend for me. She knew all the answers. She helped me by getting me on the right track with food and exercise. She has been my backbone, when I felt mine was lacking. She lent me her drive when I didn't know if I could do it, and had self-doubt. My trips to the gym became easier. The walk to the gym used to wind me...a flight of stairs used to wind me...forget about running, that NEVER happened in my life.

How do I keep motivated? That's a hard one. There are many answers...I KNOW that this is the best I've ever felt. I like seeing the reaction of people that I haven't seen in a long time. The mouth dropping open. I like going to get smaller clothes...I like having more control in my life...but what I haven't told anyone is...

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